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What did the man say when the bridge fell on him?
The suspension is killing me.
The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
I used to be allergic to soap but I’m clean now.
Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
Alternative facts are aversion of the truth.
“Need an ark to save two of every animal?”
“I Noah guy.”
“The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.”
“Police were called to the daycare center. A 3-year old was resisting a rest.”