Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older:

#9  Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8  Life is sexually transmitted.

#7  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6   Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2  In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1  Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.