“How are we?” is one of the phrases that agitates me like fingernails on a blackboard.

A few weeks ago we went with Randy and Gretchen to dinner at the newly opened Roy’s in Pasadena.  Our server was a nice young man who politely asked us “How are we tonight?” and “Are we ready to order?” When he was away I commented on the “we” and guessed that he went to Cal State Fullerton.  Later in the meal we asked how he arrived at Roy’s and where he went to college.  It turns out that he had been living in Palm Springs but he grew up in Orange County and he went to Cal State Fullerton.

How did I know?  The first time I heard this grammatical grotesquery was from Mike R. a sales person I hired twice.  I first hired him to work in inside sales at Wilshire Foam Products and then later to work for Brandon International in outside sales.  He was a great salesman but he had terrible grammar.  Ever since when I hear “we” when “you” is correct I assume Cal State Fullerton.  Most of the time I’m correct.

It is one of my hobbies to guess where people are from based on their accents.  I’m only right about 20% of the time.  But it is a classic win-win conversation starter.  When I am right, people are delighted and when I am wrong it starts a conversation.