Thinking outside the box sometimes isn’t good enough. This is thinking outside the ocean.
Whale oil was a major source of lamp oil in the 18th and early 19th centuries. It was clean, available and renewable. But petroleum was discovered and most of the whales were killed so it went out of favor. But conditions have changed. Petroleum is harder to get, global warming is a concern, and renewable resources are all the rage. Meanwhile whales have become one of the “charismatic megafauna”. This idea when implemented will make “saving the whales” a profitable enterprise, will reduce global warming and will ease our transition away from petroleum.
It is wrong to kill whales but what if once a year we used massive liposuction machines to harvest their blubber? The whales could be induced into the machine with training and incentives. It would have to be painless so the whales would cooperate. Think of how dairy cows are managed. Suddenly we could have commercial whale farmers negotiating with whales representatives (think Greenpeace) about the payment for blubber and ocean restoration projects. Whale herds would grow and as our dependency on whales grew our concern about krill and ocean pollution would rise.
This seems like a win-win opportunity. Less dependency on petroleum, more whales. Less global warming, more living in harmony with the other creatures of the earth.
You read this idea here first. Please be sure to attribute it to this site and add a link.
I thank you and so do the whales.
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I see this as an opportunity to set up a set of franchised clinics. Go for it.
Many whales don’t eat all winter during mating season reallying on blubber sustenance, and also need the blubber for inulation in the deep cold waters they hunt in. Maybe we could just do all fat people instead? Ive got a good 15 lbs. I could contribute!
Simon–
What a good idea!! I wonder why no one\’s thought of it before?? LB
How much oil could be harvested from one whale? And how would you get them to come to the harvester to begin with?
That’s such a wild idea it might just work! I think JP’s point about the whales needing the blubber might be echoed by a few bleeding hearts but when you consider the alternative is having a gaggle of harpoon weilding madmen coming at them with a steel-hulled boat, I’m sure the whales can be a little more flexible – we’ll they certainly will be after the fat-sucking process!
I think you should consider bringing a proper photographer with you on your trips — someone with extensive experience photographing henges….
This comment came in from Andrew P:
I would like to see some early marketing / advertising pitches for this before we get ahead of ourselves. Orca Octane, Humpbacks for Hydrocarbons, Killer Whale Kerosene, Beluga BTUs…something catchy. Remember, early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise!
This comment came in from Joe R:
Ya know… living on the beach, I’m concerned about sea levels rising during this global warming period and washing away my house, so I’m thinking skinnier whales = less water displacement = lower sea levels!!!
another benefit to your brilliant plan!
keep it up.
Joe
This comment came in from Karen L:
I have a thought that would take this concept one step further: After harvesting the whale blubber, we could line up human adipose tissue donors (I will be among the first to volunteer) and create a cellulite partnership that would surely rival anything created by Al Gore. The whale blubber would be replaced with cellulite; the cellulite probably would have more trans fats than the blubber, so the whales would really be getting a better life style, and you could make a movie of it all!!!