{"id":13018,"date":"2019-04-27T06:00:36","date_gmt":"2019-04-27T13:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/simonburrow.com\/?p=13018"},"modified":"2019-04-02T16:21:02","modified_gmt":"2019-04-02T23:21:02","slug":"laughing-in-decline-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/?p=13018","title":{"rendered":"Laughing in Decline 4"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>At a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying.<\/p>\n

The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
\nThey tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.\u00a0 One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen.<\/p>\n

Then, remembering a bottle of Bushmills Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.<\/p>\n

Back at Mother Superior’s bed, they held the glass to her lips.\u00a0 The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.
\nAs her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.<\/p>\n

“Mother,” the nuns asked earnestly, “Please share some of your wisdom before you leave us.”
\nShe struggled to raise herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said in a strained whisper,\u00a0 “Don\u2019t sell that cow.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.\u00a0 One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Bushmills Irish Whiskey […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[193,402],"tags":[132,337,104],"class_list":["post-13018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-decline","category-humor","tag-aging","tag-decline","tag-humor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p99jGb-3nY","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13018","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13018"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13018\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13019,"href":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13018\/revisions\/13019"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13018"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13018"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simonburrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13018"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}