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Kale Explains Everything

Republicans don’t like Kale. They’d like to ban it and penalize those who secretly consume it.

Democrats think kale is a very good thing. They want everyone to eat some everyday. And would like to pass legislation to subsidize kale farmers and pay for a massive advertising campaign promoting kale.

Libertarians think you should be free to chose your own greens even if one of them is kale.

Conservatives hate kale. “My parents didn’t eat kale so I don’t want my children to be exposed to it.”

Progressives love kale. They will ban peas and carrots and require that school lunch programs contain kale.

Millennials love anything with kale in it. They don’t actually eat the kale but having something that their parents hate is enough.

Old hippies are having trouble keeping the kale lit in their bongs.

Capitalists love kale. “People will pay $4.00 for 3 ounces of a weed? That’s more per pound than beef.”

Restaurant owners love kale. Kale equals hip and hip equals higher prices.

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